Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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