why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
