After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
