Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Randomize
