dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
