That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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