just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
