He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
