She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
then he tried to convert me to islam
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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