clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
