I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
