You really coming over, don't trick.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
