If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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