i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
