I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
