Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
