When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
