shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
