I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
