Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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