I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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