Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
