What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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