no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
