Heybabeimwearingurpanties
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
