Nicole vs. Life
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
