And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
