i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
