Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
