If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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