My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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