I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
