I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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