So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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