doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
