is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
