I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
