girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
