My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
