Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
