Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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