I'm lost and stupid without you.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
