does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
