We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
