I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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