What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
