1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
