if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
