I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
