she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
did you just send me my own nude
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
