he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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