youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
