We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
