So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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