you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
