She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
