Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
