I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
