I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
