after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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