Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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