This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
