I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
