in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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